Relationships are so intriguing. Each one brings about new experiences and new ideas about yourself. I can pinpoint at least one major thing I’ve learned from each relationship I’ve had. One has taught me not to be so selfish, another has taught me not to bend over backwards for anyone. I’ve learned that the term “love” is not to be used lightly, and how to be independent. All these past experiences have made me such a better person, and prepared me for the next relationship.

Today I went on a date with a guy I’ve been seeing for a few months. He touched upon how his last relationship ended, and how he was different back then. When he asked me if I minded hearing about it, I said no. I actually mentioned some of my past the other week, though he didn’t say anything about his at the time. So anyway, I said something about how certain people can give you a push to influence you to become a better person. I justify it this way: I’ve been that person for others, and others have done the same for me. He is who he is now because of others, so why should I mind it? The past is the past, but it influences the present so, so much.

I ended up reminiscing for the rest of the day, recalling some times where I was just plain naive about love and relationships. I feel like I broke my own heart more than anyone else has let me down. Times where I was angry, it wasn’t actually the other person’s fault. It was my own misconceptions of what a boyfriend was, and my extremely high expectations that always set me up for failure. Then again, there were times where I saw the signs where the other person actually was making me unhappy and I should have acted upon them sooner. It’s all part of learning to recognize it.

This past summer of singleness has worn me out. I’ve calmed down in trying to find someone and just the whole idea of dating around has turned me off. I got it out of my system though (which is probably what I needed more than anything) and did collect some interesting stories along the way. Haha, that can be another post. Anyway, I’m a lot more independent, respectful of my needs and my time, but also fair and cooperative, considerate and just all-around someone *I’d* even want to date. Haha!

So about this current love interest. The same week I started cutting off ties with the summer and deciding to stay single and love it…one of my classmates in a group project asked me out to dinner. And we really hit it off. We had sushi, dessert at a fancy chocolate place, then wine at a piano lounge. All on our first date. It’s been a while since someone could hold my interest for so long. I remember the familiar feeling of that adrenaline rush, the energy and alertness…the novelty of learning about someone new you want to learn about, who in turn wants to know more about you.

Now here I am again, gaining more experiences and more things to learn about myself. So far I haven’t given up any more of my time than I wanted to and haven’t fallen behind (much) in my classes or work. And all of this was so unexpected. Instead of going to clubs, bars, alumni mixers, etc. it really was just being at the right place at the right time.

The past has made me stronger and has taught me some tough lessons about myself. I’m resilient, more so than I give myself credit for sometimes. It’s the tough times that push us to our limits and we continue to build upon our accomplishments and failures. I am more patient, less reactive and just as determined to reach my goals…in career, in love, and in life in general. I look forward to the present unfolding, and where this new relationship goes. Maybe if it all works out, I won’t be looking again for a while.